My ex boyfriend and I despite many efforts are just never going to be able to talk and be friends. We have tried on multiple occasions and we just can never seem to find a way to communicate. This is really frustrating and sad to me because I want it to work so bad but what I have come to realize is that I want him to be a person he is not and he wants me to be a person that I am not. We both keep trying to change one another thinking that this time it will work. If I can call it what it is, it’s stupid. We both keep repeating the same actions expecting different results. I could go on about who we both are as people and why it won’t work but then I just fall back into the same circle we were stuck in.
There has not been a shadow in my doubt that I did love him. However, even knowing this I have come to realize one thing. He wasn’t my true love. There is an article that I read some time ago and I refer back to it from time to time. I have even brought it up to my ex and I’m sure if he ever reads this will just roll his eyes but I have to believe that it is true. For a couple reasons, (1) it seems to accurate describe what has happened in my own love life and (2) it provides me hope that there is something better to come. Who doesn’t need a little hope in times of adversity? Anyway back to the article, it’s titled: “We only fall in love with 3 people in our life – Each for a specific reason.”
The article describes the three loves you have in your life:
- Our First Love, the one that meets societal and family expectations
- The Tough Love, The one meant to teach us a lesson
- Your True Love
If any of you read my blog on a regular basis you know that My first love would be my ex-wife. Now I don’t know if my ex-boyfriend was my second love as the article describes but I am not really sure how he couldn’t be. The article describes how the relationship can have the highest of highs and then all the sudden have the lowest of lows. If this wasn’t our relationship and continues to be our post relationship communication then I don’t know what would be. It also talks about how this love makes you a sort of addict. You go back to it over and over again because for some reason or another you just can’t get enough, even when it is toxic. When I read the article the way that it describes the behaviors associated with this second love is how I see myself behave.
Yet, as anyone that knows me knows, I am always a glass half full kind of guy. Thus, I have discovered one thing. If this article is the gospel of love, lets pretend for a moment and for my own sake that it is, the next stop is it for me. I have gone threw love number 1 and 2 and now I can be excited that the next stop will be the finale one. The true fairy tail love where I can spend the rest of my life in blissful happiness.
In the mean time I have just challenged myself to live the most blissful and happy life that I can on my own. To go and do all the things that I want to do for me. To live a life of no regrets and ensure that I can look back at my life and know that although the means might not have always been what I wanted it still lead me to my dream end.