I have spent sometime talking to friends lately about dating and the challenges that come along with it. To some people we probably seem like we should know how to do this but we are all still very young and for me at least I have never really dated anyone. I was with the same person for nearly 9 years. I have no idea how to date. The last couple people I have dated have helped me identify two things:
1. It is just like any other skill the more you do it the better you get at it
At first glance you might think that I am suggesting that you date more if you feel like you aren’t good at this whole process and I am but not until you have a solid foundation. Like anything in this world if the foundation isn’t laid everything that comes after will crumble with the smallest gust of wind. Thus this brings me to my second point.
2. Love yourself first, I mean truly love yourself
It is really easy to find shelter with those who make us feel valued, supported, loved and worthy. Yet if we depend on someone else to provide these things to us then we are nothing but a lost soul without them. If you are finding yourself easily finding connections and comforts with someone else that may suggest that you don’t fully love yourself. I have been on this self love journey for a couple months now and I can tell you one thing for certain. I am less dependent on someone else providing me affection and reaffirmation. Sure there are days that it is hard and days I still want to come home to someone but not every day. If you want some tips on how I have begun to love myself check out my blog post 6 Tips For Loving Yourself And Living A Happier Life When Single.
All in all I suppose my point is don’t get discouraged at the dating process and take an opportunity to reflect on how happy you are being single. You may have heard the old recruitment saying; “The best candidates are the ones that already have a job.” Well I sort of take a spin off of that and say “The best partner you can find are those happy being alone.”