I had No Voice 

As I often do, I sometimes begin to write a post and then it sit on the shelf for awhile as use the time to find the words to express how I feel or sometimes I am not really sure even what I mean by what I was trying to convey. Well this was one of those posts for me. However, here it is a little more edited to fully bring out the thoughts inside my head. Yeah yeah, I know that’s a lofty task.

I was running awhile back and as I often do when I am by myself I reflect on things. Anything really but in this moment I was thinking about this blog. Why do I blog? Why did I start doing this?

I stayed with this thought for awhile without much answer and all the sudden running along side the river it hit me. So hard in fact that I stopped running and bent over a little as if I had gotten the breath knocked out of me. I think its because the reason was a little emotional. It’s funny isn’t it? How it can take us sometime to really figure out our emotion behind something. I think that is what really happened here, I figured it out and instantly I was hit with a wave of emotion. I can see now that the real reason I started this blog was because I had no voice, I was being choked. I didn’t know what to say and how to explain any of it. Not that it really mattered I guess, because I felt like people didn’t care and didn’t want to hear it anyway. No one really was seeking to understand. I felt lost and alone. I needed a voice to express what was happening to me, what had happened to me and where I was going. Thus, The Road Less Traveled. So here it is my voice and I will tell you even if I didn’t have all of you amazing readers it would still feel like a voice. Writing is just such a great form of expression and the fact that it is out there for anyone to read just provides a sense of comfort in knowing that not only is my voice being heard but maybe I am able to connect with a few people along the way.

I have had a lot of trial and tribulations in my life and particularly with my family. My family has a really strange idea of what it means to be family. They believe that they will be there for you through anything, and well, they will as long as you believe the same things they do, or act the way they believe that you should. I realized that I haven’t talked a lot about my childhood and family on here yet. Yet I now it is an important part to what is missing from understanding the bigger picture of my life resume. It will provide a lot of understanding as to how I am who I am today. I think I have avoided it until know because some of it I have worked through and just rehashing it seems like the ‘ole saying “I’m just beating a dead horse.” Yet I think it is important content. It makes up the values and beliefs that make me who I am today. Thus, I am committed to using this blog the way that it began, as a voice for me when I don’t feel like I have one. A place to provide understand about why I am who I am. Be prepared, I won’t lie some of it will be hard and maybe at times uncomfortable content because I really did have a perplexed childhood.