You know what a vacuum can do…

I recently moved into a sublease apartment with a friend for the summer and in doing so we needed a few things from the store. Well my friend went to work so I thought I mind as well go to the store and grab the couple things we needed. As any new place goes, I had been cleaning and unpacking all day so I was tired and it was now later into the evening. In an effort to fool my mind and body into thinking I had more energy than I actually had I put headphones in and turned on my favorite jams.

I’ve made it into the store and here I am walking down one of the main isles with few people around, headphones in, music booming, and if I’m being honest I was probably singing and dancing a little too. All of the sudden I look over and see this older women (probably in her late 50’s or so) with pearly eyes staring back at me, I look slightly down her face and see her lips moving but I don’t hear a thing. She clearly did not see my headphones and had no idea that I couldn’t hear a word she was saying. I remove my headphones and say:

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

She looks at me without any hesitation and in a normal tone says:

“You know what a vacuum can do that nothing else can do?”

I immediately in my head went “oh shit”, no she can’t be about to say what I think she is, can she? I mean the women is like my grandmother, there is no way this is about to happen. As I wasn’t sure where this was going I respond by being as simple as possible:

“What?”

Her response:

“Suck”

She had said it! By this point I was so tired and caught off guard by this women that all I could do was stare at her like a deer in headlights, and then I realized she wasn’t finished. Here’s what she says as she takes both hands and makes a slight stroking motion right in front of her.

“Well at least the only appropriate thing we can say that does.”

I was stunned, I mean stunned. Here I was minding my own business and why this women stopped to tell me this in the middle of the hallway by the dog treats I have no idea. Normally I would have busted out laughing and probably made a new friend but the combination of exhaustion and shocked I responded with:

“You’re right.”

I then put my headphones in and walked away. I actually feel a little bad about my response because she probably thought she was going to give me a good laugh. Although what she doesn’t know is by the time I made it to the car I was. I just couldn’t believe what had happened and how random it was.

There you have it, you now know from the lady in Meijer, what a vacuum can do that nothing else can do, well nothing else that is appropriate anyway.