I think anytime you make a move to a new city and have yet to find a job you really begin to examine your life and what you truly want. This is exactly what I am doing, I mean the whole reason I got a divorce and am moving is to pursue what I think will make me happy. Thus, I should examine my professional career while I am at it, right? I mean the boat is already capsized, what else can go wrong? So, here I am, doing just that.
To really illustrate what is going on in my mind it reminds me of something that happened with my daughter the other day. She has recently learned how much she enjoys climbing stairs and any chance she get she is all over it. Obviously, this level of courage scares me. Yet sometimes I let her do it and just walk up right behind her. Well the other day I was sitting on the couch and right around the corner are the stairs. Right next to me I had her favorite snack these strawberry apple puffs I buy at Aldi. She is standing in the middle of the room and starts to walk toward the stairs and I say:
“Sydney, do you want a strawberry apple puff,”
she stops dead in her tracks and turns and looks at me. Then looks back at the stairs, takes two steps towards the stairs and I say:
“Strawberry apple puff”
she turns looks and takes three steps towards me. Then turns back and takes two steps towards the stairs and I again say:
“strawberry apple puff.”
Again she stops dead in her tracks turns and looks at me, and you can see she is just thinking:
“Oh, dad has my favorite snack, but the stairs are right there, within reach, and no one is there to stop me. What do I do?”
At this point I was losing it this back and forth was so hilarious. Finally she gives in to the devil on her shoulder and makes a break for it towards the stairs.
I use this story to illustrate what is happening in my cross roads, although funny yes, it is exactly what is happening in my head, I am like oh, what about this, but actually I’d rather do this. Yes, I know that I am being vague and that is because I don’t want to put specifics in here because I don’t want it to hurt the outcome of whatever my choice actually becomes. So, there you have it, I am at a cross roads, do I choose the strawberry apple puffs or the stairs? The safe choice, the one society would approve of, or the scary one, the one I really want to do and the devil on my shoulder is saying “Do it, you know you really want to.”